


Lin Alone

by Rainsince



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:53:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainsince/pseuds/Rainsince
Summary: In the morning, she'll tell him but not today, not when she feels empty.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Tenzin, Pema/Tenzin (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> another sad linzin or just lin *sighs*

**I guess love just wasn't enough for us to survive**

Lin chuckled bitterly as she kicked the small rock with her boots. She can hear all kinds of whispers around her but she couldn't care less. Why would she even get defensive when it's the truth? That the man she's been dating since she was twenty-four just dumped her for a much younger girl. Lin wasn't even sure if the girl was done with puberty.

A flash of red and yellow caught her gaze followed by blue. Lin felt all eyes on her, either looking at her with pity or with judgement. Who wouldn't judge her when she just threw a girl in prison, let alone an acolyte. So imagine the faces of her officers and few other citizens inside the police department when the newly established Chief of Police dragged a woman, no, a girl.

When Toph Beifong became the Chief of Police of the Republic City, her first arrests were a legendary one, having arrested the corrupt and abusive businessman. It was in the newspaper for weeks but Lin Beifong, she's truly her mother's daughter. If Toph's first achievement were grand, Lin went grander. People expect her, being Toph's daughter, to be just like her mother but never in the world do they expect her first arrest as the Chief of Police is dragging an air acolyte with a furious monk in tow.

It would certainly be in the newspaper for _weeks_.

"Lin." The Chief of Police bit her lips before facing the airbending master. Everything went silent, it was painfully quiet that Lin could almost hear Tenzin's breathings.

" _Councilman_ Tenzin." Lin nodded in his direction as if she didn't arrest one of his acolytes. It's one of the things Tenzin hates about Lin, her ability to be stubborn and oblivious if she wants.

" _Chief_ Beifong." Tenzin replied with the same tone.

**I swear, I swear, I swear I tried**

_The atmosphere was unbearable and Lin just wanted to down the whole bottle of the amber colored liquid down and sleep. She felt empty and broken but tears won't come because she's a Beifong and Beifongs don't cry. Those are the words her mother drilled in her head the minute she learned how to talk._

_"Why Lin? Just why?" Tenzin whispered, almost choking on tears. "How could you do this? How can you be so heartless?"_

_Lin didn't even move or flinch at his words as she looked at her boyfriend, her amazing and patient boyfriend who, despite her baggage, loved her. Staring at those grey eyes, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth and so she lied._

_"Because I don't want it." Lin tried to sound as if it didn't bother her but she sounded pitiful. Pathetic. "I don't want it, Tenzin."_

_It's amazing how well she could easily lie without giving away any signs of lying. But even the lies can't make it go away because the pain is still the same. The anger is still there. The hurt is still there._

_Tenzin stared at her in disbelief, his mouth opening and closing, having trouble forming words to reply at her nonchalant reply._

_"Bullshit!"_

_Tenzin rarely curses and as much as possible, he wants to avoid it all together because he's a monk, for spirit's sake. But there are times he'd slip up and today is one of those times._

_"That's bullshit, Lin. Completely bullshit."_

_Lin found it hilarious, she even chuckled. "You said bullshit."_

_But Tenzin wasn't amused._ _Glaring at her, watching her with an outrageous look. He couldn't believe the woman in front of him. He felt like he didn't even know her anymore. She felt like a stranger. How could she find the time to joke after what she just did? How could she chuckle when he can't even think straight after he found out that his girlfriend just had an abortion._

**I'm so unlucky I can't breathe**

"No, there's no need for that." Lin kept her eyes on the flower base as she listened to Katara narrate what happened in this complete fiasco. "I won't press charges, I'm sure Lin had a good reason on why she did it."

 _Getting dumped for a twenty one year old is a perfectly good reason for her to arrest that girl_ , Lin muttered under her breath to which they heard. Shu, one of the officers who's handling the cases, looked at her with wide eyes before looking at Tenzin then looking at the acolyte in the cell. _Smart man._

Katara cleared her throat. "But I do expect an apology and I want the damage to be fixed."

Lin grimaced, remembering the chaos she unfolded in the Air Temple Island. She heard Shu meekly replied. "Of course, Master Katara." While glancing at Lin. "B-but what about the acolyte girl...in the cell? The one, Chief arrested?"

Poor Shu, stammering in front of the three. Lin made a mental note in her head to give Shu a vacation after this whole event settled, assuming that she won't be removed from her position.

"We can't keep her here overnight because technically...she didn't do anything...wrong?" Shu gulped down. "She can leave now, uh, Chief?"

Lin blew her hair before unlocking the cuff from the acolyte's hand with a flick of her hand. Poor girl was nearly in tears, rubbing her wrist as Tenzin met her halfway, offering his hands for support. Lin could feel the eyes behind her back.

She is embarrassed. Not because of what she did, she couldn't care less about her actions. But his action is what embarrassed her. It hasn't been a day yet since they broke up and he can already be seen with another woman.

Lin ignored the pain in her chest as she stood up. "Get her out of my building."

Pema nodded as she hurriedly left the room with Tenzin on her heels. Tenzin gave her one last look of disappointment before leaving to follow the acolyte.

Katara stayed behind for a little more, talking with Lin and offering her support but Lin just wasn't in the mood.

"Tenzin told me." Katara whispered, placing her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I won't ask you why you did it because it's your choice, your own body but that doesn't mean I agree with your actions. If you want someone to talk to, someone to cry to, I'm here. If you want to talk about the abor-"

Lin stopped the older woman before she could finish her sentence. Looking around to check if anyone heard but Shu is busy with the reports and no one is near enough to listen to the hush voice of the waterbender.

"Katara." Lin pursed her lips. She's grateful for the older woman's support even though she just destroyed their island. "Thank you but I'm fine. I'll be there on the island tomorrow morning with a few of my officers to fix the damage but for the meantime, you can leave. I'm sure Tenzin is waiting for you outside."

**You took the life right out of me**

_Lin looked down, avoiding his eyes. She just got home and wasn't expecting to find him in the hallway of her apartment with his back against the wall in the middle of the day when he should be in the middle of his council meeting right now. Lin shook his shoulder awake and Tenzin woke up confused why he's in her apartment until he met her eyes._

_She could feel his eyes boring at the back of her head as she proceeded to open her apartment door but the operation made her weak and shaky. Tenzin snatched the keys from her hands and opened the door, Lin had to bite her lips from wincing when she felt the keys scrape her the skin of her palm._

_Tenzin threw the three pregnancy tests on the table, an angry expression masking his whole face._

_Lin doesn't know how he found out, she hasn't even told him that she's pregnant, was pregnant, but he did._

_"Did you do it?" Tenzin demanded angrily, his eyes going back and forth between her eyes and her stomach._

_Lin was tired and in pain. All she wants to do is just to lay in her bed and sleep. Her body is in pain and heart feels heavy and there's no way she wants to discuss it with Tenzin. In the morning, she'll tell him but not today, not when she is empty._

_Lin ignored his desperation and walked past him, hoping that he'd let it go for tonight but she was wrong because his next words sent chills so cold, Lin felt numb all over her body._

_"You killed our baby!" Tenzin roared, slamming his hand on the table and sending a breeze of air in all directions. "You killed our baby and you act like it's nothing!"_

Lin faced the council, thankfully Tenzin wasn't there. She was given a warning for her actions. They told her if she did one more irresponsible act, she can kiss her Chief of Police position goodbye. Needless to say, Lin spent the next two hours nodding at their every word as they talked about how she made the Police Department look like a fool and angered non-benders for arresting a non-bender acolyte.

Lin got home at around seven o'clock, she just finished interrogating two criminals, and a bunch of paper works that left her irritable and grouchy.

She pushed the door of her apartment open before carelessly throwing the keys on the table. Sighing in content to finally be alone and in the safe of her own home. She took off her armor and took a quick bath to freshen herself. Lin was just about to throw herself to her bed when she accidentally crashed into a box, sending all the contents on the floor.

Things like a stuffed badgermole, plain white onesies and few more baby items but what caught her eyes was the black and white sonogram of her child. Lin dropped on the floor, the sight took her breath away and Lin was scared she'd run out of oxygen but she managed to calm herself.

Her shaky hands reached for the picture, fingers tracing the outline of her baby while her other hand rested on top of her stomach.

And she cried.

She cried as she cursed the world for its unfairness. She cried for the baby she lost, whose life was taken too early. Lin would never tell Tenzin that she lost it, that she had a miscarriage. She had to go through the abortion because the child in her womb is no longer alive.

Lin just felt the heartbeat of her child. At first, she was scared at the unfamiliar movement inside her stomach but she's happy. Lin is happy. She was going to tell Tenzin but she never got the chance because it was taken from her six hours later.

She grieves for her dead child she will never meet. The child she created with Tenzin, the love of her life, who has now moved on from her. The love of her life who called her heartless. She couldn't bear to see him that she lost the baby, she doesn't want him to get hurt. She told him that she doesn't want it but the truth is, she wants it. She wants that baby.

That day, Lin felt truly _alone_. No Tenzin on her side. Her mother went to who knows where. Sister who ran away after she scarred her older sister's face. Father who she never met. And her baby is gone. She can no longer feel its heartbeat she grew to love and enjoy. Lin wants to spare Tenzin the same pain she felt and so she lied.

_"Why can't I hear anything? I'm supposed to hear the heartbeat right?" Lin asked worriedly, her chest contacting as she shook her head at the healer. "I just felt her move this morning? Is there something wrong with my baby?"_

_She cradled her stomach protectively._

_The healer looked at her with sad eyes. "I'm sorry Lin but I'm afraid there's no more heartbeat."_

**I'm longing for your heartbeat**


	2. Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the sequel you've been waiting for! I started writing this last night but I don't have an idea on how this will flow. I did a lot of editing, writing and deleting and I even reached the point where I want to leave it as is and not write a second part but here I am lol. 
> 
> tbh, I was very hesitant to to write this because I have another linzin story that I'm writing and I'm afraid that it would be too similar. Anyways, please enjoy this one and don't kill me and I hope that this reached your expectations.

**I fought for you the hardest**

Lin woke up in a cold sweat, chest beating rapidly and ears ringing. She frantically looked around herself, searching for any signs of blood but there isn't. But the dreams, they felt so real and before she knew it, she was already crying.

It happens every year. She would wake up in the middle of the night, clutching her stomach as if the agonizing pain was still there. But over the years, the physical pain went away but the emotional pain will always be there, taunting her for her failures.

They would crept in her mind in different forms of emotion, jealousy, resentment, and anger. They would come at night, swallowing her brain whole until there was nothing else to think but that _day_. Lin thought she would easily get over it, that it was just a passing moment but the people around her would prove her wrong.

For years, Lin learned to live all by herself with no one to depend to. She grew up independent and it's both a blessing and a curse. Blessing because she knew that she can support herself without any help and a curse for all those nights she cried herself to sleep, longing for someone to just comfort her.

When Lin found out that she was pregnant, she was scared because she wasn't ready. She and Tenzin talked about settling down someday and starting a family but those conversations often turned ugly with either of them screaming at each other and walking out of the door.

She found out that she was pregnant when she was around six weeks. She didn't have any idea and the first thought that came to her mind wasn't very nice but then she remembered Tenzin, she knew that he'd be there for her. She didn't want to tell him yet until she was exactly sure and Katara confirmed it days later but Lin told the waterbender to not tell Tenzin yet.

Weeks passed and before she knew it, she was already thirteen weeks pregnant and she just felt her child move inside her, a little flutter, too subtle to notice but due to her seismic abilities, she felt it and it brought a smile on her face and she knew she had to tell Tenzin.

**So tell me your secrets**

_Lin was on her way to the City Hall when she walked past a small shop full of stuffed toys. Lin smirked, she knew hormones would make her soft but she didn't know that it'd be so soon because she soon found herself buying the small badgermole toy she saw in the shop. She bought it along with her, wanting to give it to Tenzin once she told him but she was immediately whisked away the moment she placed a foot inside the city hall._

_There had been a ruckus and Lin wasn't even sure of what was happening. She tried to protect herself from the crowd but one of them had bumped her sides, it wasn't hard enough to push her to the ground but enough for her to topple over but she was quick to balance herself with her earthbending._

_She immediately felt a cramp._

_Suddenly, she doesn't care anymore about the commotion. Her concern was all for her child, using her earthbending, she placed her foot firmly on the ground and that was the first time she felt the little thumping sound of her child. She placed her hand over her stomach protectively before glaring at the civilian who bumped into her._

" _Is Councilman Tenzin still in his meeting?" Lin asked the woman in her mid-sixties. The woman nodded before returning to the pile of paperworks. Lin sighed, rubbing her temples as she felt a headache coming. "Thanks, please let him know that I came by and that I need to talk to him as soon as possible."_

She did it every year.

She would take the day off from work and nobody questions her, either too scared or doesn't care at all. But that doesn't mean that they don't notice that the Chief of Police is always taking the day off on the same day every year. But this year is different. This year is special because this year would've been her kid's eighteenth birthday.

Lin sighed, dropping on the green grass as she pulled out an incense from the basket, lighting it up with a lighter before sticking it to the ground.

"You would be eighteen today." Lin smiles sadly as she looks at the black and white picture. "You'll probably grow up just like your father, plotting with your father in different ways on how to give me a headache. You'll be patient and kind but very brave and passionate. Maybe you'll be an airbender like your father or an earthbender like me but that doesn't matter because we'll still love you."

Lin could only imagine. "How's life there? Are you having fun there? I hope you're happy wherever you are." She was only met with silence. It's been a long time ago but she would never get used to the silence.

Lin suddenly crunched up her face. "You're probably like Meelo. Spirits, that child is unpredictable. He's always talking and won't shut up but he's a nice kid. But I like to think that you'll be like your sister Jinora. Your father raised them well." Lin laughed to herself. "You'll love them. They're great kids."

She stopped, her smile turning into a frown. "I wish you were here and maybe I won't be so alone."

_She felt the second cramp around late afternoon, it was stronger this time and Lin knew something was wrong. She's been throwing up all day and tired more than ever. Her hand reached for the telephone, punching the numbers she had memorized for all the times she would call Tenzin on work but he was not picking up. Lin cried out as another pain shot her to her side, leaving her breathless._

_She dialed Tenzin's work number again but still, no answer._

**I just can't stand to see you leaving**

Lin breathed in the fresh air, the smell of salt and water offered her some comfort, she never knew it could offer. She looked over at her city, her magnificent city who stood tall and unwavering despite all of the obstacles it went through.

"Hey." She felt Tenzin slowly approaching her from behind. "What are you doing in here, Lin? Everyone's already inside. We're just waiting for you so Rohan can blow his candles."

When Lin didn't answer, Tenzin followed her gaze and saw the Republic City standing strong. When they were younger, Tenzin couldn't imagine her obsession with keeping the city safe. He couldn't count how many times they fought because of her dedication to her work but as he grew older, he slowly understood why.

Lin had always been protective and loyal to those she loves. Tenzin knew her since they were children and he knew all her heartbreaks from all the people who had hurt her and abandoned her. He vowed that he would never hurt her but in the end, they both ended up wounding each other that left them both resentful towards each other.

He focused on his nation. Tenzin married and had four children whom he loves so much while Lin, she focused on the city. She dedicated her life to protecting the city because when her mother, her sister, and Tenzin left, the city was the only thing she had left.

"It's been eighteen years." Lin whispered, staring at the ocean with a soft look on her face.

Tenzin was confused at first before remembering it, nodding at her word, a little surprised that the earthbender remembers it. "He or she would've been eighteen this year."

"Do you think she would be an earthbender or an airbender?" Lin asked, almost whispering.

Tenzin's shoulders slumped, exhaling through his mouth. "Maybe she'll be an earthbender like you, stubborn just like her mother." He frowned when he saw her chin trembling.

"Or an airhead like you." Lin tried to teased him, coaxing a small smile from Tenzin.

Tenzin was surprised at how their conversation was going. They haven't spoke about the abortion since eighteen years ago. It was a sensitive topic that held years worth of anger.

"Do you think she's a she or a he? It would be weird that he was a boy and for the last eighteen years, I've been calling him a she." Lin continued, a small smile forming in her lips.

Tenzin sighed, fiddling with his robe. He, too, was unsure of what to call his unborn child. The child he would never meet or touch and before he knew it, the unresolved anger he's been keeping was unleashed.

"Probably a he-"

"What are you doing, Lin?" Tenzin furrowed his eyebrows at the earthbender but the earthbender just shrugged, ignoring the evident anger at the airbender's voice.

"He'll probably be like Meelo since your son takes after your rambunctious acts." Lin smirked. Tenzin tried to argue but the woman continued. "He'll be talkative and sweet like Ikki and a spiritual leader like Jinora."

Tenzin sighed in defeat, seeing no point to even be angry or discuss with her. "I'm coming back in. Rohan will blow his candle with or without you."

Lin slowly closed her eyes, thousands of thoughts running inside her mind. "Our child will never get the chance to blow a candle. He would never get the chance to see the world."

Tenzin stopped his tracks, swiftly turning his face to her. He watched her in disbelief, scoffing at her every word. "And who's fault is that?"

Lin went silent.

The airbender immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry. That was not appropriate to say-"

"I lied." Lin said meekly, turning her face so she could look at his eyes. "I lied. I told you I didn't want the child but I do. I do want that child."

"Enough of this." Tenzin exclaimed, his chest heaving at the sudden outburst. "You don't get to do this, Lin. You don't get to do this when you abort our child!"

"I had a miscarriage!" Lin shouted and when she realized what she had said, she covered her mouth as fresh tears flowed from her eyes.

Unbeknown to them, their family, friends, and few of the acolytes had stopped what they were doing when they heard the former couple fighting. They were all surprised by the revelation that the Chief of Police, who's cold and harsh, had a miscarriage. Slowly by slowly, they start to empathize with the older woman, previously oblivious with her past that they are quick to judge her without knowing all the pain and trouble she endured.

**But heaven couldn't wait for you**

"What?" Tenzin stuttered, gasping as he felt the air leave his body.

"So many things went wrong in my life, and they keep on coming no matter how hard I try to keep them at bay but there's this sadness, guilt, and hurt inside me that I can't ignore." Lin whispered, her voice cracking as Tenzin watched the tears flow down her cheeks. "They keep saying that this is all going to go away, but I don't know about that because everytime I close my eyes, they come back to haunt me."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tenzin struggled to form words. "You should've told me, Lin."

So, you can call me a liar?" Lin growled at him. Her face was red and her hand forming into a fist. Tenzin could feel the earth beneath him shaking.

"Of course, not." Tenzin took a step forward.

"If I told you, is that going to bring that child back?" Lin looked at him with anger she didn't know was there. She felt her voice becoming louder and louder. "If I told you that ' _Tenzin, I'm pregnant_ ', would that child live? Tenzin, If I told you that, would it change anything?"

"Yes!" Tenzin choked out. "Yes, it would change anything. I would've been there with you."

"I was going to tell you in the morning but you said you want to break up." Lin shut her eyes close, remembering the morning eighteen years ago. "I was going to tell you, alright? I was going to tell you that we're gonna have a baby but you were busy."

Tenzin looked up at her, confused. "What?"

Lin bit her lips as her eyes returned to the sea, closing her eyes as she went back to the past. "I just felt her heartbeat. I just felt her move that morning and I knew I had to tell you but you were busy, so busy." A couple of tears slipped from her eyes. "I went to the island but you weren't there so I figured out that you were in your office. I went there but your secretary told me you won't accept any visitors."

"I, I don't remember this happening."

Lin snapped at him. "I called you, Tenzin! I called you multiple times but you never picked up."

And it dawned on him, the continuous rings of his telephone that he grew annoyed of. Asking his secretary to hold all the incoming calls so he could focus on his work. He never knew that they were Lin's. He felt sick in the stomach. "I'm sorry, Lin. I didn't know."

"I was alone! I was scared and you weren't there!" Lin pushed his hands when he tried to touch her. It must've felt good because she pushed him away again and Tenzin didn't move. He just let the woman in front of him hit him on his chest repeatedly. "You weren't there! I was bleeding and I was alone. I called you over and over again but you're not answering. I had to drag my body to the hospital, every step is painful, Tenzin! But it was too late."

"I was too late." Lin slumped down on the ground, sobs shaking her whole body. "I lost it. There was no more heartbeat. So I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I was thinking about you. I knew you'd blame yourself and I don't want that but instead you blamed me." Lin wiped her eyes with her sleeve before looking at the man with hurt. "You blamed me, Tenzin, when I was just trying to protect you."

"I don't need protection!" Tenzin said. "I should've been there for you. I should've been beside you, protecting the both of you! This is my fault. If I just, If I just picked up the phone maybe, maybe our child would still be here. If I just picked up the phone, you wouldn't have to go to the hospital. I'm sorry, Lin. I'm so sorry."

"Then what do you want me to say?" Lin cried pitifully. "' _Hey Tenzin, I'm pregnant. Hey Tenzin, I'm bleeding, please come here. Hey Tenzin, I lost our baby.'_ Is that what you want to hear? I didn't tell you because I love you so much. It hurts _so_ much and I don't want you to experience what I've experienced. My child is dying inside me and I couldn't do anything!"

Tenzin did the only thing he knew and that was to pull the woman into his arms. Lin tried to fight back but her fight had gone out. She can't do anything but to cry. All the pain she bottled up all these years had burst. Lin felt empty once again but this year is different.

Because for the first time in eighteen years, Tenzin is by her side.

**So go on, go home**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to yall! I want to tag those who commented but I don't know how. You know who you are and I really enjoyed reading your comments so thank you very much!
> 
> I'm sorry if I made you guys cry but it's part of being a linzin shipper. we're bound to get hurt!!
> 
> p.s. the song is called "Heaven" still by Beyonce

**Author's Note:**

> lin beifong will always have a place in the organ that pumps my blood, kidding, she owns my whole heart. 
> 
> My heart beats for her 😉
> 
> p.s. the song is called "Heartbeat" by Beyonce


End file.
